Co-sleeping is defined as sharing a bedroom with children while bed-sharing is sleeping in the same bed, but the term "co-sleeping" is often used to describe bringing babies into bed with Mom. We bed-share, co-sleep, whatever you want to call it. My babies have slept with me in my bed from the day they were born. I sleep with my babies because I made the choice to have them and I don't expect them to conform to adult standards for an adult world. Babies are sentient beings who just want to be held. Some babies like to spread out and sleep alone but I don't believe for the first few months my babies should've been anywhere else but next to me in bed. Sleeping with babies promotes a more secure attachment as they're never awake in the night wondering where their mother is. Co-sleeping also ensures an adequate milk supply as the breast is easily accessible at all times (and even while both of us are sleeping! Dream-feeding is a breeze). Feeding on demand lets the body know milk is always needed and I credit it with how I recovered from my breastfeeding struggles months ago.

My kids have always been heat-seeking missiles who only ever want to feel the warmth of their mother. I don't smoke, I always go to bed sober, I don't take medications, and I don't do drugs. These qualities make me a good candidate for sharing my bed with my babies. Heavy blankets and pillows have no place in my bed when my babies are newborns, but as they've grown larger they like to cuddle up with a small blanket. My husband doesn't sleep in the bed when I sleep with the baby but this season of our life is so short, we can skip out on sleeping in the same bed for a little while.

Sleeping with my babies ensures they're fed whenever they want to be, they're warm, and they're comforted. The concept of putting babies in a separate bed in a different room away from their parents is largely an American concept. I think when left to their intuitions, most moms know what's best for them. Many women don't sleep soundly knowing their babies are in their bed, and that's fine too. I keep a portable crib in my bedroom next to my bed for those times when my baby is napping or when I just want to sleep a little bit without her, when my babies aren't with me, I miss them. This is what works for our family. My babies were not born to fit into my world, I make my world fit around them.

-Emily